How to lose an internet argument.

Months ago, four strong, intelligent, beautiful lady pioneers of debating and I founded an online debate club. We created a Facebook group specifically designed for young ladies such as ourselves to engage in stirring debates about whatever struck our fancy. By enouraging research, arguments, not being aggressive, or being easily offended, we were sure we would see ourselves flowering into mighty goddesses of civil arguments just in time for the 2016 political campaign.

In a lot of ways, I do see this happening. In a lot of other ways, I am witnessing how to properly lose an argument over the internet. Even when I feel members are articulating their point of view well, using founded research and even smiley faces to indicate lightheartedness, there will always be a storm out, and a lot of prime (and classic) internet fighting. 

Tonight, I witnessed first hand a storm out on a thread which I felt had been civil and well thought out. My friend Bri and I debriefed afterwards. 

Bri: I feel like I missed something. 

Me: Me too. It went from a back and forth to a I CANT EVEN TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. But without caps.  

Bri: I'm surprised she didn't throw in a "AND YOUR MOM'S COOKING SUCKS" and kick a puppy on her way out. (I've never stormed out of anywhere before so I don't really know how it works). 

Me: No I think that's standard protocol. There's probably a handbook. At the very least a wikihow. 

But then I did my research. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN: there is no wikihow on how to properly storm out of an internet debate. I was too lazy to look further, but I assume there is also no wikihow on how to lose an internet debate, but I am pairing the two together and presenting (ba-ba-ba-BAAAAAAAAAAA (that is supposed to be, like, the end of the 21st Century Fox opening, not a sheep,  just to let you know)) 

                               HOW TO LOSE AN INTERNET ARGUMENT. 

1. Ensure you base your point of view entirely on a delicate balance between logical fallicies and personal anecdotes. 

Research is for noobs. Don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise. You know your argument because once upon a time it happened to your sister's mother-in law's aunt, and no one can take that away from you. You don't need references nor should you ever consider looking for them. People who use research only do so because they know they are wrong. That is why they can't just explain their argument using their own words. They are dependent on other people. Dependency equals weakness, and the weak shall fall.  

2. Abandon grammar. 

Think of every writing rule and tool you have learned in your lifetime and punch them in the face. Capitalization Doesn't Have To Be Just For Proper Nouns Or Sentence Beginnings. lower case should also be embraced, especially for proper nouns. Use ellipses... When it doesn't necessarily... Make sense to have...them. Exclamation points too!!!!!!!!!!! Abandun speling. ur in a debate. their is no tim four spell chek.  

3. Do not recognize other points being made. 

People are going to come back at you with counter points. Ignore them. Acknowledging the thoughts of others is a symptom of a seasoned debater, and we're here to lose spectacularly. Don't ever change your point of view, or your purpose. If someone asks you to consider something that wasn't in your initial point, rebuke it with a non-sequitor that was. 

4. Keep it simple OR overwhelm yourself. 

Hand in hand with failing to recognize other points, is keeping your argument as simplistic as possible (i.e. Only offering "yes" "no" and "because it is that way" as an explanation). Who can argue with a one word answer? 

Alternatively, consider including every thing you can possibly think of in one argument. Is the topic the death penalty? Perfect, people who are murderers drink water, and water is a liquid, and liquid that is solid can be used as a weapon, and TVs could also be used as a weapon, so protect the children and ban homework for heavens sake! Confusing your opponent, and yourself, is key. 

5. Make it personal. 

Don't ever allow a debate to be emotionless. Fling insults and wield name calling at any opportunity. It's common knowledge that every argument is lost as soon as someone name calls. Don't be afraid to be that person. Conversely, make sure that everything that is being said is being perceived as a personal insult to you. I don't care if the statement is "your mother is a kind woman," you can easily retort with, "oh, is that to suggest that my grandmother isn't?!" Boom. Crushed it. 

6. Have a dramatic exit. 

The exit is a key component to every internet debate storm out. Tell everyone you are speechless. That you cannot even fathom who raised them, or how on earth they sleep at night. This may just sound like more insults, but it is so much more intricate than that. Here is your time to show that it is by your own choosing that you are leaving this debate. You are disgusted by the behaviour and ethics of those around you, and that is what is motivating your departure. It is not that you have lost or been proven wrong, but rather that they are not even worth engaging anymore. Make this clear. 

There you have it, folks. Good luck out there! I believe in you all. 

Questions I have when watching Frozen

Many of my favourite books or movies provide me with more insight and understanding each time I read or watch them. I come out at the end feeling edified and filled with knowledge. I improve my trivia questions on the subject and become one step closer to being a bonafide expert in that particular field. Frozen, however, is not one of those movies. Granted, I haven't yet dedicated a passionate amount of time in dissecting this 2013 Disney animated feature, however, each time I do watch, all I seem to find myself with is more questions and major frustrations. 

Here is a short compilation of questions I have when I watch Frozen: 

1. Why are these men leaving an orphan boy and baby reindeer alone in a frozen tundra? 

2. How are these girls not dying of hypothermia? 

3. Aren't you going to be in a crap-ton of trouble for creating a snow storm at 3am? 

4. How did the parents sleep through that whole pRty then come running as soon as they are called? 

5. Parents, is that really what you sleep in? 

6. Why are there trolls? 

                              

7. Is this little boy seriously an orphan? 

8. Now adopted by trolls? 

9. And that's all the explanation we are going to get? Neat. 

10. Wow, parents, have you really never read Macbeth/Oedipus Rex? There is essentially no way you trying to avoid this prophecy could go well. 

11. How is separating your two children from each other a good idea? 

                    

12. When has telling a child she has to change everything about herself ever worked well? 

13. Has anyone ever told you that you are the WORST PARENTS IN THE WORLD?! 

14. Who hurt you, Disney? 
15. Why must all the parents die? 

16. Who has been running the country while the girls are alone in the castle? 

17. Is it really necessary for Elsa to do the coronation ungloved? 

18. Are you suggesting that a man is evil simply because he is a bad dancer?

19. Anna, what if this Hans guy is an axe murderer? 

      

20. How did Anna buy those things? 
21. Do you have a credit card in your bra? 

22. Why doesn't Kristoff recognize Anna from the night he was mysteriously adopted by trolls? 

23. Where did Elsa's clothes go? 
24. What is she going to sleep in or eat? 

25. Why can't anyone in this movie just communicate like healthy adults? 

26. Why are the trolls "love experts"? Do love experts really tell parents to suppress their children? 

27. How is Olaf the smartest character in this movie? 

28. Why would people just assume the princess is dead without checking the body? 

                  

29. At what point did everyone decide that Elsa wasn't evil? 

30. Why is the man from Weasel Town evil? 

And finally, probably the most important question: Why would anyone ever say this movie is better than Tangled? 

8 (lazy) ways that you can be a fitness pro.

I'm behind on the New Years posts, but better late than never! Because I am hip and up to date on the blogger-sphere, I figured I would write a fitness posts with tips on how to get active and healthy with this brand new year. Of course, these aren't any sort of fitness tips, but rather tips for those who don't actually want to be healthy but need ways to tell people that you are.

1. Install a motion detector light in your home.
This investment encourages you to move from your cocoon of safety and junk food every 30-50 seconds to jump around wildly in order to have any light to see by. Depending on how frequently you need light, this could be a serious calorie burner.

2. Remove all toilet paper from your bathroom.
Do you know how effective squats are at toning your legs? Incredibly effective, from what I've heard. By decreasing your proximity from toilet paper, you are encouraged to squat walk from the bathroom with your pants at your ankles to retrieve your favourite wiping tool. Works best if you live alone.

3. Decrease the size of the blankets on your bed, or, if you have a spouse, provide only enough bedding for one of you.
This technique encourages wrestling and crunching. In the case of smaller blankets, you are forced to minimize your size on the mattress, engaging important core muscles. When you have a spouse with whom you're forced to ration coverage, this can be a perfect opportunity to strengthen arm muscles as you pull blankets and punch out your spouse.

4. Wear only skinny jeans and other tight clothing.
The skinny jean hop is one way I stay in tip-top shape. By only selecting clothes that are tight, you are forced to wriggle, jump, and squeeze into and out of everything you wear. This one is better if you have a roommate of some sort, as the dance moves you produce are both priceless and hilarious.

5. Move to an area with wild chickens, (or anger a local rooster.)
There is a wide spread fallacy that suggests that roosters cry at dawn. Roosters in fact cry whenever and wherever the mood strikes them, no matter what the time of day or what you are doing. Ensuring you have a loud dominant rooster in your yard provides you with an opportunity to take up sprinting when your patience and eardrums can take no more. Having lived in a home where I suggested to the local roosters that I was the alpha, I have experienced what it is like to rage a personal war with multiple chickens at once. They are like miniature personal trainers! You will be sprinting (and cussing, and possibly throwing rocks) in no time.

6. Hold your pee for as long as you can.
This is a practice that may lead to urinary impotence in the future, but will strengthen your leg and stomach muscles in the now. Crossing your legs tightly, tiptoeing rapidly, and hopping in place are all side effects of a full bladder, and are all fantastic for increasing muscles in your calves and thighs. Added bonus for if you also choose to only use bathrooms that are far away from you once you decide it is time to go; sprinting while clenching all of your abdominal muscles is a sure way to quick 6-pack abs.

7. Throw away any remotes that you have.
By removing your access to your TV remote one of two things can happen. You can increase your movement by forcing yourself to get up and walk to the TV when you need something to watch, or you can perfect your throwing arm. By finding small objects around the house that you can throw at the TV buttons, you can improve your pitching and strengthen your arm muscles. Either way, it is a physical win.

8. Put your arm in a sling.
Make a sling for your arm to immobilize it. By forcing yourself to use only one arm a day you are guaranteed to give the one free arm twice as much work as it usually gets and thus twice the opportunity for buff-ness. Switch out which arm is held by the sling every couple days to ensure both are being worked.
(This one is a little tricky, because cripples often get help from those around them, so you have to promise not to cheat yourself. I believe in you, though. You can do it.)

There you have it, folks. 8 foolproof ways to ensure you are fitter than ever before!
Update me on your progress, and let me know if you have any other hot tips on getting into shape.

Burning bras are a safety hazard.

Before you begin this entry, please take this short quiz!

1) Do you think that all human beings are equal? 

2) Do you think all human beings, being equal, deserve human rights? 

3) Do you think women are human beings? 

4) Do you think men are human beings? 

5) Do you think both men and women, being humans, deserve equal human rights? 

If you answered yes to all of these questions, congratulations, you are a feminist!

So why is this identity upsetting to you? I really hope it isn't. Unfortunately, there is a recent trend of people turning their backs on "feminism," or at least claiming to. To me, it is astounding and is an act full of very scary logical fallacies. 

Let me explain. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a church often known as the Mormon church. If I were in a conversation with someone who told me, 

"I hate Mormons! They are evil! That Warren Jeffs guy molested all sorts of children, and forced young girls into arranged marriages! That's awful, and I will not stand for it. I am anti-Mormon," my response would probably be, 

"Okay, so I hear you; Warren Jeffs is pretty dastardly, and I wholeheartedly agree that he deserves the multiple life sentences he is currently serving in prison, buuuut, he's not Mormon. So, you hating him, doesn't make you anti-Mormon... Amirite?" 

Similar to the misidentification of FLDS church as being the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, everyday people falsely attribute the acts of misandrists to being representative beliefs of feminism. To help us all assure we are on the same page, let us define both terms. 

mis·an·dry

miˈsandrē/

noun

1. dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e., the male sex).

   "her brand of feminism is just poorly disguised misandry"

fem·i·nism

ˈfeməˌnizəm/

noun

1. the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Just to reiterate: 

Feminism is a movement for gender equality.

I see people claiming to abandon feminism over and over through passionate blog pieces and celebrity endorsements. Please, do not stand up and say that you do not believe that women deserve to be treated equally to men because feminists are evil, when in reality, you feel that the acts and behaviours of misandrists are immoral and wrong. If anything, to me, that means that you ARE a feminist! You are openly against the mistreatment and blanket-statement hating of men. You believe that they too are humans who deserve to be given equal opportunities and rights. If you believe this, you are a feminist. 

Abandoning the feminist movement because of the acts, beliefs, and behaviours of misandrists would be similar to me leaving my faith - something I believe to be true and right - due to the misconceptions of others that I may be a polygamist in favour of child molestation. Others incorrectly identifying themselves as LDS while they do terrible things that are not representative of my church or my standards, will not make me walk away from my religion, and neither will misandrists claiming to be feminists make me walk away from my beliefs in feminism. On the contrary, their mislabeling of their own biases makes me feel more passionate as everyday goes by to educate people on what feminism is and what it fights for. I feel inclined to shout, "do not tell me you are a feminist when you are openly bigoted against an entire gender. Do not suggest that feminism represents that. You are wrong." 

In other instances, it doesn't seem to be what feminism stands for to make individuals turn their back, but some strange desire to exempt themselves from a worldwide movement simply because they feel they are not involved. For those who claim that they are not a feminist because they have never experienced inequality, my heart feels so heavy. Should I likewise stand up and say, 

"I am not anti-rape, because I have never been a victim of assault." 

"I am not anti-racism, because I have never been a victim of a hate crime." 

"I am not anti-murder; no one has ever tried to murder me." 

"I am not anti-poverty. I have always had a roof over my head."

?

The fact that I do not face horrible things on a daily basis does not mean that I do not recognize the ways in which those things exist in the lives of others. Maybe I have never been denied something because of my gender, but everyday, worldwide, thousands of people are. 

So please. Educate yourself on the things which you are claiming to know enough about to publicly denounce. And if you still feel that you are not a feminist, well, like Louise Brealey, I hope you'll reconsider. As she said, "I'd like every man who doesn't call himself a feminist to explain to the women in his life why he doesn't believe in equality for women."

Thank you for reading my rant. I hope you feel enlightened. 

Batman wants you for a feminist. 

Next year I'll read less; it will make a shorter blog post.

This year I found a study that stated,  

"As of January 2014, some 76% of American adults ages 18 and older said that they read at least one book in the past year. Almost seven in ten adults (69%) read a book in print in the past 12 months, while 28% read an e-book, and 14% listened to an audiobook." 

You can read more about the numbers of it all here. The numbers were lower than I expected, being a fan of reading myself. Then I wondered, "when was the last time I read a NEW book?" I have a tendency to find one book I like and then read it over and over and over again, rotating through a collection of about a dozen books within the year. How lazy am I? So, with the help of my iPad and Peter's library card from Seattle, I made a goal to read more new books this year. 

I made it to 52. Here's my list. I didn't include books I did not finish, but maybe I should have, because there were several that I tried to read but were not worth it. 

1. My Story - Elizabeth Smart

The memoir of young kidnapping victim Elizabeth Smart. The author manages to take something so horrifying and hideous and produce an uplifting story, a task that I did not know was possible. She explains her experiences with eloquence, but it is for sure a harrowing tale; I found myself needing to skip to the end, when Smart was recovered, before going back to read it through again. 

2. Looking For Alaska - John Green

You know those books where the words are just so pretty the way they are strung? This is one of those books. The characters are flawed and realistic, angsty but sympathetic. I took an emotional roller-coaster for the day that I read this, because I couldn't tear myself away from it. Does contain language and teen sexuality. 

3. Piece of Cake - Cupcake Brown

Another memoir (I adore memoirs, le's be real). Not for the faint hearted. Cupcake Brown (yes, that's her real name) tells her story starting at the age of 11. She faces foster care, child abuse, prostitution, gang involvement, drug addiction, drug dealing, and homelessness, however, is now a working attorney in the United States. This story... wow. I repeat, not for the faint hearted, you have strong language and horrifying situations from the very first chapter, but I felt an incredible sense of compassion for Cupcake and other children like her failed by the court systems, and gratitude for my own life. 

4. The Fault in our Stars - John Green

I honestly wasn't a huge fan of this one. Had I been a young teen girl, I am sure I would have been going crazy for it, though. Cute, heartwarming, but also crippling, teen love story about a girl with terminal Cancer who falls in love with (wait for it) another Cancer patient. I did really enjoy the fun quips and jokes that Green put in this book. 

5. Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn

Another one I could not put down. I essentially live tweeted my emotions to Allison my entire way through this book. Amazingly written so that every step of the way YOU JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE. My opinions of each character fluctuated from start to finish. Gillian Flynn captivated me, flipped me upside down, and continuously punched me in the gut, yet somehow in a really beautiful way. Contains language and sexuality. 

6. Before I Go to Sleep - S.J. Watson

Another mystery, although one which is less rapid and quick moving than Gone Girl. S.J. Watson does a good job at presenting several different possibilities for the reader to cling to without ever nudging you in one direction or the other. Twisty and surprising. 

7. Exposed - Jane Velez-Mitchell

An analysis and overview of the Jodi Arias murder trial. If you followed that trial, or you like court proceedings, you'll like this, if not, you won't. Contains sexuality - readings of explicit texts and emails. 

8. The Amityville Horror - Jay Ansen

Ahh!!!! This book put me on edge and meant that Peter got several easy scares out of me for the week I was reading it. Creeptastic, and full of supernatural thrills, I strongly recommend this book for a cold, windy, stormy night. 

9. Catch Me if You Can - Frank W. Abagnale jr.

Memoir of the famous conman, this book was intriguing and informative. I enjoyed being amazed by his audacity and tenaciousness, although I am pretty sure his tactics would be less effective in our modern day. Abagnale has a good voice for story telling, and his stories are unbelievable. 

10. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - Jean-Dominique Bauby

Another book with truly beautiful language and prose. The memoir of a man suffering from locked-in syndrome. Short, but stunning. Bauby is a poet. 

Okay, and 10 book descriptions is proving enough for me for now. Here's the rest of my list. Gander through and if there is another book you would like to discuss, comment below! 

11. Sarah's Key - Tatiana de Rosnay
This narrative voice felt mildly pretentious to me. It was an interesting story concept, however, it did seem to drag in getting there. A dual narrative split between modern day and World War II, both discussing the Vel' d'Hiv Roundup of Jews in German-occupied Paris in 1942. Moments of beauty, but also moments of slow "why are you telling me about your failing marriage?". You win some, you lose some. 

12. Ava's Man - Rick Bragg
For a biography of the author's grandfather, a man whom he never knew, Bragg portrays a deep love for his family, and for a particular stretch of dirt road along the Alabama-Georgia border. Ava's Man is an intimate piece of American history as it was experienced by the working people of the Deep South. Granted, it took me a while to get into the rhythm of Bragg's voice, but once I did it felt like warm Campbell's soup.  

13. Between the Shades of Grey - Ruta Sepetys
Follows the suffering of a Lithuanian family in a work camp in Siberia under Stalin's communist regime, which is something I cannot say I have read about. An easy read, and one that still flirts with young romance, among the grit and the starvation, I enjoyed Between the Shades as educational yet guilt free story telling. While I was presented with pain and suffering, somehow I didn't feel entirely like a hideous human being or like I wanted to go cry forever. I appreciate it when I'm not made to suffer over things I can't control, so thanks for that, Ruta. 

14. Room - Emma Donoghue
Amazing, but frustrating. Told from the perspective of a four year old boy who lives (and has only ever seen/been) in "Room" with his mother. Room is his existence, and his reality. I was riveted and tortured through this entire reading. I felt so incredibly angry at the characters for their life choices. I think if you find yourself screaming at written words for being so helpless, the author has probably done a good job at writing a decent novel. 

15. Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock - Matthew Quick
Trigger warning for self-harm, there was a couple sections at the beginning regarding cutting that I had to skip. This book made me feel glad that I wasn't a teenager anymore, because I could remember feeling a lot of the emotions that Leonard feels. My sister recommended this one to me and after I finish we discussed. I found myself unfulfilled by the ending, but the fact that I felt that way was kind of horrifying and needed to be addressed. Read it, and talk to me.
Contains frequent language. 

16. Daughter's Keeper - Ayelet Waldman
Eh. I did finish this book, so the author at least captivated me, but when it was all over I wondered why I had been captivated. Characters seemed inconsistent to me, but maybe that means they are super realistic, because us persons are never all that constant. If you have phobias of being wrongfully incarcerated, like I do, maybe give this one a skip. Or just skip it because nothing really happens. 

17. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
I did not have the pleasure of reading Fitzgerald in High School, so this was my first exposure to his writing. Very eloquent and descriptive. I disliked that everything important took a long time to actualize, but instead we spent time just being told about the people and the scenery, however, when action actually began, I liked it a lot. I did not expect to feel depressed at the end. Definitely did. Poor Gatsby. 

18. Marley and Me - John Grogan
I love love love love LOVED this book! Have you seen the movie? The book is the movie but with hours of extra scenes slipped in. People say that Marley and Me is a sad book (/movie), but I don't think so. Yes, I did bawl my eyes out at the end, however, I laughed and had a genuine good time in celebrating the hilarious and well lived life of a wonderfully awful pet. If you adore the puppies, you should read this book. Warm, happy, butterflies, and lots of slobbery kisses. 

19. Until You're Mine - Samantha Hayes
Back to the mysteries and fun twists! I liked this book a lot. Another great book for live-tweeting your emotional ups and downs to your BFF. Extra plus, set in England so you have a marvellous voice writing it all. Multiple narrators all telling their sides to a story that you will try to piece together in every which way, and still probably be surprised when it ends (although, I totes guessed who dun it, and felt super proud). 

20. Water For Elephants - Sara Gruen
I can't say I've read a book about a turn of the century travelling circus. Well, I mean, now I can! I liked this. Romantic voice on the beauties and comings of a circus and all that entails. You've got class issues (performers vs. techies), forbidden love, and violent personalities who aren't above murder. Fun all around. 

21. Melissa Explains it All - Melissa Joan Hart
A memoir by our darling 90's queen full of fun stories chronicling her life. I was interested because I love Clarissa Explains it All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, but I will admit, once she got into her extensive stories about football parties with her husband, I just didn't care anymore. Give it a miss if you aren't interested in celeb memoirs. 

22. Sharp Objects - Gillian Flynn
Dark. Twisty. Super dark. A lot of self injury stuff. I loved it, though. Gillian Flynn just has this magical talent of making you want to stop reading, but also want to never ever stop reading again. Incredibly cruel characters who I hope don't actually exist in real life, and a murder mystery that you hope you're wrong about, but you probably know it from the beginning if you're being honest with yourself. 

23. The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

24. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

25. One More Thing - BJ Novak

26. Nineteen Minutes - Jodi Picoult

27. The Book of Unknown Americans - Cristina Henriquez

28. Orange is the New Black - Piper Kerman

29. What is Visible - Kimberly Elkins

30. The Casual Vacancy - J.K. Rowling

31. What Alice Forgot - Liane Moriarty

32. The Psychopath Whisperer - Kent A. Kiehl, PhD

33. Z - Therese Anne Fowler

34. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button   and Other Stories - F. Scott Fitzgerald

35. Wild - Cheryl Strayed

36. Slaughter-House Five - Kurt Vonnegut

37. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

38. The Weight of Blood - Laura McHugh

39. The Shining - Stephen King

40. Thirteen Reasons Why - Jay Asher

41. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers

42. Oryx and Crake - Margaret Atwood

43. Bad Monkey - Carl Hiaasen

44. The Hallowed Ones - Laura Bickle

45. These Things Hidden - Heather Gudenkauf

46. If I Stay - Gayle Forman

47. Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery - Robert Kolker

48. Pain, Parties, Work - Elizabeth Winder

49. The Bedwetter - Sarah Silverman

50. Beyond Belief - Jenna Miscavage Hill

51. Mice - Gordon Reece

52. Dark Places - Gillian Flynn

Yay literacy! 

Our year in review

Here's the MeGregorvy's first ever Christmas card year update. Enjoy ;) 

January
Peter began his last calendar year of undergrad and received a promotion at work. I moved into a new apartment and began my new job at Bayada Habilitation, making sure I stood out to my employers by fainting on my first day and spending time in the ER (but still was always completely fine). Yay for low blood sugar!

February
Valentine's Day was full of bacon roses, giant balloons, snuggies, junk food, and Friends. In other words, Peter and I shared the perfect date.
February also brought with it an abundance of rainy Saturdays, challenging our creativity as a couple and introducing a plethora of rainy-day games. Peter danced with a pineapple on his head for my roommates. The things rain will make you do.

March
I went through the temple for the first time, something very sacred and reverent in our church, and made new covenants with the Lord. It was a difficult transition for me, but I felt very supported and loved by my friends and family.
Later in the month I discovered (and introduced everyone I knew to) the game 2048, which quickly led to a manic addiction. Peter lovingly supported me and didn't insist on an intervention. He is totes adorbs.

April
We got married!! On April 12th, the 3rd anniversary of our first kiss, Peter and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Laie Hawaii temple. Our parents and my little-big sister were able to come celebrate with us.
We spent a wonderful week long honeymoon on the island of Kauai, and moved into our new apartment.
On the 24th Peter turned 22 and we sang Taylor Swift. Obviously. He received Lego sets from his parents and me, and built some amazing things. He has a gift for Lego creations. It's super neat.

May
At church, Peter was called to be a Sunday School teacher at church. His lessons were, and continue to be, energetic, spiritual, and always inclusive of at least one short joke.
I began a second job watching an adorable two year old named Nash. I also reentered the blogging sphere in the hopes to actualize one of my (very real but probably not at all realistic) dreams to be the author of a well read and loved blog.
We hosted our 1st annual (as a couple) Battle of Hogwarts party. We played Quidditch pong, made wands, and drank Butterbeer. The only setback was having close to no airflow in our tiny apartment, leading to some serious sweating on all of our behalves.

June
My brother and his family visited island to baptize our nephew Benny on Temple beach. We partied hard and hiked even harder, and it was wonderful to be with them again.
Peter reached his one year mark of being home from his mission in Japan and began his internship for a local politician as the assistant campaign manager. *Spoiler alert* the politician won his campaign cuz Peete's the bomb.
He also took the LSAT (and did awesome) which is a pretty massive thing.

July
Peter and I had our first political debate that did not include hurt feelings. We felt very proud of ourselves for becoming adults. Kind ones.
I knocked off an item on my bucket-list by starring in an infomercial! Our very own "House Spouse" included bad acting, a continuous voice over, and black and white editing, but unfortunately lacked giant red Xs and Muzak. Next time.

August
Peter was able to relieve some of his Japan withdrawals by finding us a Yaku Niku restaurant in Kaneohe. We have returned several times, and I have learned to surrender all of my ordering rights to Peter, seeing as what he orders is always the best at the table.

September
Peter officially entered into his last ever semester of his undergraduate career and we began our grad school applications, choosing Penn State, BYU, Seattle Pacific University (me), and Seattle University (Peter) to apply to.

October
Peter indulged my fantastic adoration for Halloween and October by watching Halloween movies with me all month. We endured our first weekend apart since his return in 2013 while he went to Seattle to be reunited with all of his siblings for his little sister Shanna's wedding. It was a wonderful occasion, but also a horribly difficult one for me to live through ;). Luckily, I had friends who texted me and hung out with me all weekend, so that I wouldn't have to be alone.
I took the GRE and did a lot better than I expected to.

November
For Thanksgiving I taught Peter how to make homemade pies, and Peter made a masterful spread for ourselves and Azriel, equating to about 5 pounds of food per person. The leftovers fed us far into December.
At church I was asked to join Peter as a teacher in Sunday School. We love being able to prepare lessons together and feel we are finding just one more way in which we are a superawesomeneat couple. No one is as cool or as humble as us.

December
Peter graduated Cum Lade with his bachelors of arts in Political Science. At the department graduation banquet, he was awarded with a Legal Studies certificate, BYU-Hawaii's first ever Emergency Management certificate, was one of the this years three distinguished graduates in Political Science, and was recognized as the department's distinguished graduate in Public Management. He is twenty times cooler than I ever was in school.
We moved into our new studio apartment, which is teeny tiny, but has its pluses. It's fun being someplace new.
Peter received his first acceptance to Law School at Seattle University with a $12,000 scholarship.

So, there you have it! Our entire year in one blogpost. Thank you for reading and showing us your love and support all year. We wish you a Melece Navidad, a Mele Kalikimaka, and a Melly Christmas! (Poor Peter doesn't have any festive nicknames.) I hope you have a wonderful holiday celebrated with those you love. 

The Boyfriend Test

One thing that dating can teach you is what you are unwilling to tolerate in the person you marry. With every person you date, you are able to see what characteristics you like and the ones you don't. It is kind of great, though; you're shopping for people!

Sometimes I find myself thinking about the deal breakers that I encountered in my dating life and wondering if I overlook those same important (and awful) characteristics in Peter. Obviously the only logical way to make sure you married the right person is subject them to a series of secret tests all based on the things you couldn't stand in your exes*.

Peter and the Boyfriend Test

1) Ketchup, please!

When I was younger and stupider than I was now, I entered into an infatuation with a boy more clingy than cling film itself. He was particularly upset with any time I spent away from him, which meant that my friends got sick of him relatively quickly. One day after school I was playing on an arcade game with some friends, and he was giving us no space. While he was in the restroom a friend of mine remarked that no matter what I asked, this boy would do, even if it made no sense or served no purpose. This mildly bothered me, and I denied it, because the idea of having a blind follower is kind of an unattractive one to me. My friends then challenged me to request the boy to find me ketchup when he returned, saying he would do so without asking, even though we had no food with us, nor would ketchup be of any use to me. I agreed, and casually requested later when he returned. To my discomfort, he did so unquestioningly.
I understand that many could see this willing and open devotion as sweet, but to me, it indicated a lack of individuality. I knew that I could not be happy being with someone who never questioned me. I needed someone who, yes, was willing to serve me, but also had a mind of his own, and could call me out when I'm being completely unreasonable. This little ketchup scenario told me all of that. Because I over analyse n' stuff.

Thus, requesting ketchup when I was clearly in no need for such a thing was the first entry on the boyfriend test. One Sunday, while we were lounging around the apartment, I called to Peter from the bed. "Will you bring me ketchup, love?" I asked.
His head appeared around the wall, "bring you what?"
"Ketchup."
"Why do you need ketchup?"
"I don't."
"Okay." Pause. "Do, do you want me to bring... It to you?"
"Nah, it's okay. Thank you, though."

One point to Perter!

2) Understand the Importance of Cherries

I had been only dating one boyfriend for a few weeks when we went to McDonalds together. I ordered my meal with a milkshake, and then went to the bathroom while he waited for the food. When I returned, he offered me my milkshake. The drink sat with its beautiful whipped cream on top, cup sweating drops of condensation, but was obscenely incomplete.
"What the heck??!" I exclaimed, "they forgot my cherry!"
"Oh! Uh...." My traitor boyfriend stammered, "I ate it."
"YOU ATE MY CHERRY?!" I screamed, pretty irate and loud for a public fast food joint. "What kind of monster eats the cherry from on top of another person's milkshake without being offered it?!"
The relationship was doomed from the start.

I am happy to report that, since marrying Peter, I have never had a cherry disappear from atop a milkshake.

Two points for Peege! Yaaaay!

There were other tests, but they aren't as funny, so I won't force you to read them ;).

Obviously, there are more things that my exes have done that Peter does not, which is so great, and I totally married the crap out of him when I realized how insanely amazing he was. I hope when you find the person who you love at their worst and their best, you do similarly.

I hear so many people justifying bad relationship decisions by saying, "but she's not always like this!" Or "but I know he loves me." That makes me all sorts of uncomfortable, because it seems a way to push unacceptable things aside for silver linings. I bet I could have married Peter had he brought me ketchup and eaten things I was saving for myself, but only if those things were things I knew I could live with easily.

So go out there, you crazy kids! Go make friends and then get married when you find someone who you love even at their crappiest.

I don't know if I have a point, but if I do, it's probably that I'm #soblessed.


*there is probably a bunch of better ways to do such a thing than this. Readers accept any misfortune that may come from administering the Boyfriend Test, and cannot hold Tiny Anxiety responsible for the actions of any angered spouses.