He's all about that Bass

Sometimes we overlook aspects of people we love because we do not want to acknowledge they are real. Even when the facts are blaringly obvious, we refuse to recognize what is staring us straight in the face, because we would rather live in our blissful ignorance than admit what is true. 

Peter has always been different. With his long lashes and aggressively blue eyes, his perfectly sculpted eyebrows and ability to cut his own hair, he stands out from others in a mildly feminine way. He dances more than he walks. He hums show tunes and 90s pop, and regularly compliments others on their appearance. He loves suspenders and writes eloquent poetry and prose. I've known him for almost 5 years now, and I have found that it is time for me to embrace his true identity. To face what it is that drives Peter's passions. 

Peter loves boybands.

He loves boybands fiercely. I tried to ignore what was in front of me, but after almost a year of marriage, I cannot. He religiously updates his Spotify playlists to finetune his listening tastes, tastes that are centered on the talents of young boys (who are actually several years older than us), and their harmonizing, lyricism, and beatboxing (at times). While N'Sync is his cherished favourite, Peter has a diverse palate for all things 90s-00s boybands. In fact, he has a very real dream to form a Japanese singing boyband of five white men, himself included. While he sings and dance, I look on and know that even though I never dreamed of marrying a boyband member, touring Japan while young girls scream at my husband sounds only mildly terrifying. 

Since embracing my husband's true identity, my life has only become better. We are both able to rejoice in our respective loves: Peter in his songs, and me in watching him dance like a goon while he sings his songs. As for the initial shock, I know I am coming back from this. I may not be the same person I was, my view is expanded, my perspective more broadened, and I now know what is important, and what isn’t. I don’t want any boys to grow up feeling they must hide who they are, mask their identity, and live in denial. It is okay, no, it is great, to love boybands. It is wonderful to enjoy the talents of Lance Bass and Nick Carter dancing and creating magic with their respective posse. If you know someone who is hiding their passion as though ashamed, I hope you will be there for them. Support them in being who they are. 

P.s. I'll send you a postcard when we're touring Asia. 

Potter Ponderings

Peter is obviously my favourite roommate. That goes without saying. However, he isn't my FIRST favourite roommate. I have loved before. (*gasp* drama.) Since beginning college in 2010 I have been blessed with truly wonderful roommates (but a few crazy housemates) who filled my life with joy. 

 The greatest part about having a roommate is the late night talks. My roommates talked me through Peter's two year mission, about relationships, likes and dislikes, spiritual trials, physical trials... We discussed it all. My last roommate before I got married was the glorious Christy Hoffmann. Our late night talks almost exclusively were Potter Ponderings which are probably the BEST kind of late night talks. Potter Ponderings are questions we have about the wonderful world of Harry Potter. There are no answers usually, but lots of opportunities to question and dig up textual evidence supporting various conclusions. Here are a few Potter Ponderings. 

- If Harry had been kissed by a dementor would his own soul be sucked out or Voldemort's horcrux? 

A simple answer could just be "they would both be sucked out" but that's a super boring answer, and I like debating against it. Harry's soul would be the more attractive of the two as it is full of happiness and is actually a full soul, but if Harry is sucked out, does that leave his body as a living breathing embodiment of Voldemort? We know Voldemort can leech onto another living soul, but in the case of Quirrel, Voldemort couldn't remain once he had died. I'd like to believe that Voldy would be destroyed and Harry would walk away free. Luck always favours the boy who lived. 

- How far back in time can you go with a time turner? (Additionally, who was behind the decision to give a small time machine to a 13 year old girl so that she can exhaust herself with school work? That really seems like bad decision making.) 

The time turner is just such a strange concept to me. I love that Prisoner of Azkaban dabbles in time travel; it is such a dizzying field that I even studied extensively for a semester of my undergrad. Yet, if you take those final scenes of PoA (and Hermione's repeated use of the time turner through out that year) and put them into a wider perspective, suddenly it is harder to comprehend on a legal scale. If these tools are so readily available (i.e. There is a shelf full of them in the Ministry of Magic, and young girls are being handed them in school) how is it that no one has seriously altered time? How does Voldemort exist? How does Harry exist? It seems to me that if time travel were as easy as a few spins on a chain, surely many people would have attempted to abort plans on BOTH ends of the good/bad spectrum. This makes me want to assert that there are specific time restraints on the time turners, and that you may only travel back within a 24 hour period or so. No matter what, it is hard to debate because if time travel has occurred and events changed, then that change is all we know. 

- Why does Harry only first see the thestrals after Cedric's death? His eyes are open during his mother's murder, but closed during Cedric's. 

In the Goblet of Fire we read: 

"From high above his head, he heard a high, cold voice say, "kill the spare." A swishing noise and a second voice, which screeched the words to the night: "Avada Kedavra!" A blast of green light blazed through Harry's eyelids, and he heard something heavy fall to ground beside him. Cedric was lying spread-eagled on the ground beside him. He was dead." 

Actually, we don't know that Harry's eyes were open during his mother's demise. All that he can recall from that Halloween is a flash of green, screaming, and high pitched laughing. That flash of green that he has remembered is exactly like the one he witnesses at Cedric's death. Logistically, if Cedric's murder (seen through closed lids) was enough to have Harry "see death," his becoming an orphan would be equally as qualifying. I read or heard once that it is the understanding that it is death you have seen that makes the thestrals appear, and therefore Harry's being present as a one year old was not enough to have him comprehend death. That seems more valid to me, until we consider how much death Harry has faced in his 15 years of life. When Hagrid explains to him why he is an orphan on his 11th birthday, Harry attributes understanding to his earliest memory: 

"Something very painful was going on in Harry’s mind. As Hagrid’s story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before — and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh."

Doesn't this mean Harry has now seen death? He has understood for the first time in his life exactly how he became an orphan; his parents were murdered. Even if that doesn't work, why doesn't witnessing (and kind of causing) Quirrel's death at the end of his first year at Hogwarts? What about destroying Riddle's diary? That was a pretty much a murder. Harry aimed to destroy Riddle and accomplished it. I have so many questions regarding thestrals. 

-Where do dementors come from? How do they multiply? 

I understand that dementors are essentially depression in a physical form, I also deduce from context clues and quotes throughout the series that they multiply anywhere that there is unhappiness, but how? Dementors are in no way sexual creatures. Granted, this is an assumption, but I'm pretty sure there is a very short list of people hoping to get jiggy with a dementor. Probably a list shorter than the one of people who want to make out with Umbridge. We aren't told that people who have their souls sucked become dementors and so it seems they aren't like werewolves or vampires who create others like them. WHERE DO THEY COME FROM? Is it mitosis? I must know. 

What are your Potter Ponderings? I have many, but this already seemed like a brain dump, so I'll stop. 

Stalking isn't romantic, guys.

Imagine you have a childhood friend who fell madly in love with you. Unfortunately, over time you become estranged from this friend because, well honestly, he is a bigot. He's a devout member of the KKK and you are black. He is a anti-semite and you are Jewish. Whatever example works best for you, use it. This friend fundamentally hates and slanders your background but swears he loves you despite the fact that you are dirty and a lesser human.

Imagine that you moved on with your life, lost touch with this friend, fell in love with another and had a child, yet this childhood friend still proclaimed his undying love for you. A love that was never reciprocated by you. 

Imagine this person delivered the crucial information that lead to your brutal murder. 

Imagine that decades later this person, who is still a cruel bigot, now spends his life bullying your only son and one of his friends, because he sees them both as horrible reminders of your death. 

How do you feel towards this person? Awful, right?? He has behaved in a borderline stalker fashion for most of your life! Really not cool. 

All pretenses of anonymity aside, we know I'm talking about Snape. 

The fact that J.K. Rowling named Harry Potter's son after Severus Snape is one of the most offensive things to happen in my life time. It is something that I may never recover from. 

I understand that Snape died in order to defeat Voldemort and save hundreds of Muggles and Wizards alike, but beyond that, he possesses very few redeeming qualities. Everything that he does seems to be motivated by obsession. As a young adult, his obsession with Voldemort dictates his behaviour, and from then on, his obsession with Lily Potter and the fact that he played a major hand in her murder motivates him to seek redemption. 

I believe as much as anyone that redemption is a great thing, and I don't think that Snape doesn't deserve redemption - he turns from his ways and dedicates his entire life to ensure the downfall of Voldemort and his Death Eaters - however, that doesn't mean that I think he is not a bully, his obsession with Lily Evans/Potter isn't insanely creepy, or that Harry would ever name his child after him. 

Sure we see over and over in the series instances where we're all like, "woah, Snape is hella evil" and then we're like, "lawl, jk, he's still a good guy," because Queen J.K. shows how we are wrong, but his personality still stands out as overly douchey at best. Neither Death Eaters or Order members are particularly comfortable around him, seeing as he seems addicted to sneering at and belittling everyone he encounters. This instance from Goblet of Fire always burned my derrière particularly strong:  

"He forced Hermione to show Snape her teeth—she was doing her best to hide them with her hands, though this was difficult as they had now grown down past her collar. Pansy Parkinson and the other Slytherin girls were doubled up with silent giggles, pointing at Hermione from behind Snape's back. Snape looked coldly at Hermione, then said, "I see no difference.""

Hakuna your tatas, Snape! This is a 14 year old girl you're mocking. She has never proved to be a threat to you, nor do you have any moral reason to bully her. In fact, as a teacher, most would say it is your professional goal to be a guiding mentor to her. I guess that doesn't matter when the girl is MUGGLE BORN. *mutters* bigot. 

 And still there is this Lily thing we have to address. We have all had crushes at 15 years old; they are powerful and embarrassing, but we eventually move on or win the affections of the person we are pursuing. Snape fails to do either. The fact that he still harbors deep emotion for an unrequited teenage love as an adult man strikes me as deeply disturbing. 

Ultimately, I find myself getting most irritated that this new wave of fandoms is ruling where readers worship Lily + Sev 5ever. In shipping Snape and Lily as a couple you are wishing that the main character of a series never came into existence. You're negating the love of a woman for her husband and assuming she would be better off with the boy she rejected for valid reasons when she was 15. The fact that J.K. works to never address the good qualities of James is something that I will weep over for years, but for now I am grateful for whatever good qualities James had because he and Lily MADE HARRY POTTER. and if you don't think that's the tightest reason to support a couple, YOU A FOOL. 

Update on current existence

On February 2nd I had an interview at the Marriage and Family graduate program at BYU. A lot of people have been asking how that went. Thank you for showing an interest in my life. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, it is one of those things that I almost wish people would ignore for the next two weeks so that I can pretend I am not internally crapping my metaphorical pants, but you cannot pick and choose what parts of your life are interesting to others.

FAQS:

How did it go? 

Honestly, I'm not sure. There were parts of the day where my inner monologue was sassy and of African decent screaming, "oh, oh, you are KILLIN' IT, FOO. They ain't got no one who has ever killed it the way you have. mmhmmmm. You know that's right." There were other moments where all I could think was, "why are you here? why are you here? why are you here? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, MESERVY." Sadly, both of these extremes were accompanied by a faint sense that I was on the brink of vomiting and a profuse amount of sweating, so I cannot confidently state that I did well, or poorly. I think we are just going to have to wait and see.

When will you hear back?

All 28 of the MFT applicants interviewed last week. The majority of us came on Monday, but a small group came Friday. Therefore, deliberation begins this coming week. The earliest I will hear back is early next week.

How many people are selected for the program?

There are 11 places available for the 28 of us who applied. That means I have roughly a 39% chance of being accepted. Granted, the selection of applicants is not random, however, as I do not know how I did (see FAQ number 1), my chances feel pretty random at this point.

What was the interview like?

At the beginning of the day we were presented with a schedule. This schedule divided the 21 of us present into small groups of five or six and listed times we would be seen by different professors. In our groups we rotated through rooms where professors were to ask us questions and answer any questions we had. In addition to meeting with the professors and answering their questions, for one of our "interviews" we had 15 minutes in a computer lab to answer three short answer questions and submit them.
Around noon, we were shepherded into a room to have lunch, and begin our one-on-one interview process. Each of us would have three interviews in three rooms, each with 3-4 professors there to ask us questions. My interviews were scheduled at 1:00, 3:00, and 3:55. While we waited, we sat and visited with the other applicants and current MFT students who came in and out to meet with us.
The day began at 9am and ended with a "pizza party"(we were all so desperate to get out and never see that room again, that the "party" aspect was definitely a stretch) at 5pm.
The worst part of the day for me was the waiting in that board room. I knew that the existing students were there to assess us all on our personalities and pleasantness, and what they would have to say about each of us would be taken into consideration, however, all I wanted to do was crawl under the table and lay on the floor weeping quietly to myself until my interviews. It wasn't as though the questions being asked were particularly difficult, but knowing that you are putting all your efforts into being accepted somewhere and that you are being judged on your every action and word is mildly horrifying. I am looking forward to being past this point in my graduate career (plz don't remind me that I will be repeating this process when I need to get a job. k thankz).

What happens if you get accepted?

If both Peter and I get accepted at BYU, we will most likely be moving to Provo to attend school there starting August of this year. I have been asked to interview at Seattle Pacific University early this March which I plan to attend to look at the school and program, and perhaps we will find that Seattle is where we need to be. BYU is the best option academically and financially for both of us, but we are open to the fact that God's will doesn't always work on academic and financial motivations.

I think those are all the FAQs I have gotten. If you have any other questions for me, please ask! I will try to answer to the best of my ability :) 

How to lose an internet argument.

Months ago, four strong, intelligent, beautiful lady pioneers of debating and I founded an online debate club. We created a Facebook group specifically designed for young ladies such as ourselves to engage in stirring debates about whatever struck our fancy. By enouraging research, arguments, not being aggressive, or being easily offended, we were sure we would see ourselves flowering into mighty goddesses of civil arguments just in time for the 2016 political campaign.

In a lot of ways, I do see this happening. In a lot of other ways, I am witnessing how to properly lose an argument over the internet. Even when I feel members are articulating their point of view well, using founded research and even smiley faces to indicate lightheartedness, there will always be a storm out, and a lot of prime (and classic) internet fighting. 

Tonight, I witnessed first hand a storm out on a thread which I felt had been civil and well thought out. My friend Bri and I debriefed afterwards. 

Bri: I feel like I missed something. 

Me: Me too. It went from a back and forth to a I CANT EVEN TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. But without caps.  

Bri: I'm surprised she didn't throw in a "AND YOUR MOM'S COOKING SUCKS" and kick a puppy on her way out. (I've never stormed out of anywhere before so I don't really know how it works). 

Me: No I think that's standard protocol. There's probably a handbook. At the very least a wikihow. 

But then I did my research. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN: there is no wikihow on how to properly storm out of an internet debate. I was too lazy to look further, but I assume there is also no wikihow on how to lose an internet debate, but I am pairing the two together and presenting (ba-ba-ba-BAAAAAAAAAAA (that is supposed to be, like, the end of the 21st Century Fox opening, not a sheep,  just to let you know)) 

                               HOW TO LOSE AN INTERNET ARGUMENT. 

1. Ensure you base your point of view entirely on a delicate balance between logical fallicies and personal anecdotes. 

Research is for noobs. Don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise. You know your argument because once upon a time it happened to your sister's mother-in law's aunt, and no one can take that away from you. You don't need references nor should you ever consider looking for them. People who use research only do so because they know they are wrong. That is why they can't just explain their argument using their own words. They are dependent on other people. Dependency equals weakness, and the weak shall fall.  

2. Abandon grammar. 

Think of every writing rule and tool you have learned in your lifetime and punch them in the face. Capitalization Doesn't Have To Be Just For Proper Nouns Or Sentence Beginnings. lower case should also be embraced, especially for proper nouns. Use ellipses... When it doesn't necessarily... Make sense to have...them. Exclamation points too!!!!!!!!!!! Abandun speling. ur in a debate. their is no tim four spell chek.  

3. Do not recognize other points being made. 

People are going to come back at you with counter points. Ignore them. Acknowledging the thoughts of others is a symptom of a seasoned debater, and we're here to lose spectacularly. Don't ever change your point of view, or your purpose. If someone asks you to consider something that wasn't in your initial point, rebuke it with a non-sequitor that was. 

4. Keep it simple OR overwhelm yourself. 

Hand in hand with failing to recognize other points, is keeping your argument as simplistic as possible (i.e. Only offering "yes" "no" and "because it is that way" as an explanation). Who can argue with a one word answer? 

Alternatively, consider including every thing you can possibly think of in one argument. Is the topic the death penalty? Perfect, people who are murderers drink water, and water is a liquid, and liquid that is solid can be used as a weapon, and TVs could also be used as a weapon, so protect the children and ban homework for heavens sake! Confusing your opponent, and yourself, is key. 

5. Make it personal. 

Don't ever allow a debate to be emotionless. Fling insults and wield name calling at any opportunity. It's common knowledge that every argument is lost as soon as someone name calls. Don't be afraid to be that person. Conversely, make sure that everything that is being said is being perceived as a personal insult to you. I don't care if the statement is "your mother is a kind woman," you can easily retort with, "oh, is that to suggest that my grandmother isn't?!" Boom. Crushed it. 

6. Have a dramatic exit. 

The exit is a key component to every internet debate storm out. Tell everyone you are speechless. That you cannot even fathom who raised them, or how on earth they sleep at night. This may just sound like more insults, but it is so much more intricate than that. Here is your time to show that it is by your own choosing that you are leaving this debate. You are disgusted by the behaviour and ethics of those around you, and that is what is motivating your departure. It is not that you have lost or been proven wrong, but rather that they are not even worth engaging anymore. Make this clear. 

There you have it, folks. Good luck out there! I believe in you all. 

Questions I have when watching Frozen

Many of my favourite books or movies provide me with more insight and understanding each time I read or watch them. I come out at the end feeling edified and filled with knowledge. I improve my trivia questions on the subject and become one step closer to being a bonafide expert in that particular field. Frozen, however, is not one of those movies. Granted, I haven't yet dedicated a passionate amount of time in dissecting this 2013 Disney animated feature, however, each time I do watch, all I seem to find myself with is more questions and major frustrations. 

Here is a short compilation of questions I have when I watch Frozen: 

1. Why are these men leaving an orphan boy and baby reindeer alone in a frozen tundra? 

2. How are these girls not dying of hypothermia? 

3. Aren't you going to be in a crap-ton of trouble for creating a snow storm at 3am? 

4. How did the parents sleep through that whole pRty then come running as soon as they are called? 

5. Parents, is that really what you sleep in? 

6. Why are there trolls? 

                              

7. Is this little boy seriously an orphan? 

8. Now adopted by trolls? 

9. And that's all the explanation we are going to get? Neat. 

10. Wow, parents, have you really never read Macbeth/Oedipus Rex? There is essentially no way you trying to avoid this prophecy could go well. 

11. How is separating your two children from each other a good idea? 

                    

12. When has telling a child she has to change everything about herself ever worked well? 

13. Has anyone ever told you that you are the WORST PARENTS IN THE WORLD?! 

14. Who hurt you, Disney? 
15. Why must all the parents die? 

16. Who has been running the country while the girls are alone in the castle? 

17. Is it really necessary for Elsa to do the coronation ungloved? 

18. Are you suggesting that a man is evil simply because he is a bad dancer?

19. Anna, what if this Hans guy is an axe murderer? 

      

20. How did Anna buy those things? 
21. Do you have a credit card in your bra? 

22. Why doesn't Kristoff recognize Anna from the night he was mysteriously adopted by trolls? 

23. Where did Elsa's clothes go? 
24. What is she going to sleep in or eat? 

25. Why can't anyone in this movie just communicate like healthy adults? 

26. Why are the trolls "love experts"? Do love experts really tell parents to suppress their children? 

27. How is Olaf the smartest character in this movie? 

28. Why would people just assume the princess is dead without checking the body? 

                  

29. At what point did everyone decide that Elsa wasn't evil? 

30. Why is the man from Weasel Town evil? 

And finally, probably the most important question: Why would anyone ever say this movie is better than Tangled? 

8 (lazy) ways that you can be a fitness pro.

I'm behind on the New Years posts, but better late than never! Because I am hip and up to date on the blogger-sphere, I figured I would write a fitness posts with tips on how to get active and healthy with this brand new year. Of course, these aren't any sort of fitness tips, but rather tips for those who don't actually want to be healthy but need ways to tell people that you are.

1. Install a motion detector light in your home.
This investment encourages you to move from your cocoon of safety and junk food every 30-50 seconds to jump around wildly in order to have any light to see by. Depending on how frequently you need light, this could be a serious calorie burner.

2. Remove all toilet paper from your bathroom.
Do you know how effective squats are at toning your legs? Incredibly effective, from what I've heard. By decreasing your proximity from toilet paper, you are encouraged to squat walk from the bathroom with your pants at your ankles to retrieve your favourite wiping tool. Works best if you live alone.

3. Decrease the size of the blankets on your bed, or, if you have a spouse, provide only enough bedding for one of you.
This technique encourages wrestling and crunching. In the case of smaller blankets, you are forced to minimize your size on the mattress, engaging important core muscles. When you have a spouse with whom you're forced to ration coverage, this can be a perfect opportunity to strengthen arm muscles as you pull blankets and punch out your spouse.

4. Wear only skinny jeans and other tight clothing.
The skinny jean hop is one way I stay in tip-top shape. By only selecting clothes that are tight, you are forced to wriggle, jump, and squeeze into and out of everything you wear. This one is better if you have a roommate of some sort, as the dance moves you produce are both priceless and hilarious.

5. Move to an area with wild chickens, (or anger a local rooster.)
There is a wide spread fallacy that suggests that roosters cry at dawn. Roosters in fact cry whenever and wherever the mood strikes them, no matter what the time of day or what you are doing. Ensuring you have a loud dominant rooster in your yard provides you with an opportunity to take up sprinting when your patience and eardrums can take no more. Having lived in a home where I suggested to the local roosters that I was the alpha, I have experienced what it is like to rage a personal war with multiple chickens at once. They are like miniature personal trainers! You will be sprinting (and cussing, and possibly throwing rocks) in no time.

6. Hold your pee for as long as you can.
This is a practice that may lead to urinary impotence in the future, but will strengthen your leg and stomach muscles in the now. Crossing your legs tightly, tiptoeing rapidly, and hopping in place are all side effects of a full bladder, and are all fantastic for increasing muscles in your calves and thighs. Added bonus for if you also choose to only use bathrooms that are far away from you once you decide it is time to go; sprinting while clenching all of your abdominal muscles is a sure way to quick 6-pack abs.

7. Throw away any remotes that you have.
By removing your access to your TV remote one of two things can happen. You can increase your movement by forcing yourself to get up and walk to the TV when you need something to watch, or you can perfect your throwing arm. By finding small objects around the house that you can throw at the TV buttons, you can improve your pitching and strengthen your arm muscles. Either way, it is a physical win.

8. Put your arm in a sling.
Make a sling for your arm to immobilize it. By forcing yourself to use only one arm a day you are guaranteed to give the one free arm twice as much work as it usually gets and thus twice the opportunity for buff-ness. Switch out which arm is held by the sling every couple days to ensure both are being worked.
(This one is a little tricky, because cripples often get help from those around them, so you have to promise not to cheat yourself. I believe in you, though. You can do it.)

There you have it, folks. 8 foolproof ways to ensure you are fitter than ever before!
Update me on your progress, and let me know if you have any other hot tips on getting into shape.