Tuesday, July 22, 2014

The struggles and pain of a feminist marriage.

Feminism has been circling the news a lot recently. There are a lot of people out there who simply haven't been blessed to have an abundance of education on the situation, and who have taken their own, faulty, perceptions on the subject and chosen to embarrassingly tell the world why they do not need feminism. Oh you blessed souls, I pray for you.

I personally identify myself as a feminist. I follow the feministic belief that men and women are equal human beings deserving of equal human rights. While I daily see inequalities in our society that belittle women in favour or on the behalf of men, and these things do infuriate me, I strive to not be a misandrist, which is someone functioning on the belief that women are better and thus more entitled to respect and power than men.

With these integral beliefs that I hold so dear and warm to my heart, I work hard to practise what I preach in my marriage, but you know what? Sometimes that's hard because I'm a pretty pretty princess lazy and want my husband to dote on me. 

In order to keep myself in check, I have a simple decision making process. Before I make an action or a statement, I ask myself, if Peter were to say or do this time to me, would I be outraged? 

Things I would be probably be outraged to hear from Peter:

  • "No fair! I need the last cookie; my testicles crave chocolate, it's not my fault" 
  • "You should rub my back, I will be giving you children someday"
  • "Feed me, Melly. It's your job as a woman to provide for me." 
  • "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but it's in my nature to be hormonal this time of the month. You should understand." 
  • "Women are destroying society!!!" 
  • "You don't understand what it's like being repressed by the matriarchy. You're blind to the cruelties of your own gender!"
  • "Gross. Please do something about your moustache." (No, wait. I'm reserving my right to say this one). 

As I mentioned earlier, generally my requests are just things out of pure laziness, not that I actually think I am deserving of more service than Peter. However, in sticking with my feminist regime it means I hand over all rights to demand or expect chivalry simply because I possess ovaries. I lose all the little perks such as the right to eat first (because I am a woman), have my door opened for me (because I am a woman), have Peter stand when I enter a room (because I am a woman), to kneel before me and kiss my hand (because I'm a sexy beast woman)... you know, the normal stuff!  

That being said, being a feminist doesn't mean that I'm outraged when Peter chooses to do these things, it just means that I try to do them just as often as he does to me, and maybe I should try getting my lazy bum off the couch sometimes to help him while he's working to serve me. Just not right now, because I deserve to rest my mammaries am comfortable.

If you want to read more about the subject by someone funnier than me here's Jenny Lawson's newest blog post: Women Who are Ambivalent about Women Against Women Against Feminism. She's my hero.

Well, I mean, besides YOU of course!!!! 


  1. I LOVE this so much Melece! I feel like I'm in the same position as you are. And this is really random and I should've just commented when you posted it but I especially related when you posted about the whole "last name" thing on Facebook! Just sayin' haha glad you stuck with what you believed was right and kept your last name. Daniel and I are currently thinking of a totally new last name we can change to together, haha.. since he's too stubborn to let me keep my last name and I temporarily took his to make him happy.. lol I'm okay with that though because after many "discussions", he finally agreed to at least changing both our last names to one we agree on together.

    Okay, random comment done.

    1. That's so exciting to me, Kat! We're still in limbo over the last name thing. Peter still very much wants me to change it, but I don't want to lose my last name and both are so long to try and hyphenate. I'm still on board to make our own last name! That sounds so exciting - pioneers of a new family line. :D
      Have you legally changed your name? Or just on Facebook?
      You could probably very easily hyphenate thanks to Andrews and Ly being so easy :)

  2. This is awesome, Melly! :) I can relate. Haha