Sunday, October 5, 2014

I'm sorry, but Kanye give it a rest?

At the 2009 VMAs a new pop cultural moment took place. Kanye West famously interrupted Taylor Swift during her acceptance of Best Female Video of 2009, and thus was born the social phenomenon "Imma Let You Finish" (or Kanyeing).

An Urban Dictionary entry of the custom explains it as such,
"What you say too look polite when you interrupt someone, put them down, and are not going to really let them finish.
Kanye West: Now Taylor, Im really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time! (shrugs and walks away.)"
Obviously, this isn't a good thing to do, but there are certain times in my life where I find myself faced with the incredible urge to Kanye, and usually I do so, quietly to myself, in my head, or in a message to a friend so they can appreciate how important I am. I'm sure the suggestion that I do this at all has now revealed myself as a hideous person to all of you, but in an attempt to deter myself, I imagine gaining a characteristic of a (metaphorical) douche bag each time I choose to Kanye. So... that's something, right?

Times when it feels acceptable to Kanye

1. When someone tells me that their husband is the greatest. 

Me: Now, I'm really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but PETER IS THE GREATEST SPOUSE OF ALL TIME. Peace out -dons sunglasses even though it's night- 

2. When someone posts about selling Itworks, Mary Kay, Doterra oils on Facebook. 

Me: I'm really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but lemme just unfriend you real quick, cuz PUPPY POSTS ARE THE BEST FACEBOOK POSTS OF ALL TIME. *grillz magically appear on my teeth*

3. If I am told a certain new offspring is so talented and magical. 

Me: I'm really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but Jesus was the best baby of ALL TIME! (Polo collar pops) 

4. Any suggestion that a fiction book series is more worthwhile than Harry Potter.

Me: Yo, I'm so happy for you, and your limited IQ, but that boy wizard defeated the most powerful evil sorcerer of ALL TIME. -showers using only cologne-

It's hard to fight these things, but I try.

To make me feel like a better person, please comment with instances in which you think it's appropriate to Kanye. 

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