Wednesday, October 22, 2014

In the biblical sense

As a member of a scripture centered church, (well, Christ centered, but then also scripture... You underment what I stood), any sort of "Getting to Know You" survey that is sent around for whatever purpose in said church, almost always includes a blank space under the title "Favourite Scripture," for you to share.

Recently my best friend Allison and I were texting about just such a phenomenon and how little a scripture actually says about the person filling out the survey. Do the people reading the surveys look up the references? If/when they do do they then analyze the chosen scripture?

"Ah, yes, *this* person values Jesus the right amount," - all knowing survey distributor.

Or maybe, perhaps, there are well tested and developed algorithms in place to match a personality profile with the selection or preference of certain words or principals.

"Aha! This scripture says "thou" three times! We have found the perfect nursery leader!" - church leaders everywhere probably.

Usually, I assume, these references are accepted but ignored, maybe jotted down somewhere to look at during future times of trial. Rarely are they put to any sort of getting-to-know you use.

In discussing this, Allison and I decided to find the best possible verses to put as a favourite scriptures, to really help people get to know us. I hope they are inspiring and informative.
Because I assume all of you are as lazy as I am, I have written out all the verses. You are welcome.

Exodus 8:14
"And they gathered them together upon heaps: and the land stank."

Leviticus 11:30
"And the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole."

Leviticus 15:19
"And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even."

Leviticus 15:29
"And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation."

Numbers 31:17
"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him."

Lamentations 4:3
"Even the sea monsters draw out the breast, they give suck to their young ones: the daughter of my people is become cruel, like the ostriches in the wilderness."

As Christmas is fast approaching, as is the celebration of my birth, if anyone feels the urge to send me a gift, any of these scriptures cross-stitched onto a pillow, carved into a little block, or made into wall decals will be gladly accepted and presented proudly in our home.



  1. Love it. One tiny complaint: you missed my favorite. 2 Kings 2:23-24 "And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
    "And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them."

  2. Lololololol that woman has issues. And yes Lisa, that's my favorite story ever.

    I'm gonna send you a gift card (for fashion!) for a tattoo parlor and you can get one of those tattooed on you. Or henna because #righteous.

  3. You might very well be getting a throw pillow. ;)