Sunday, November 2, 2014

You can tell I have never *actually* been tortured, because I complain a lot.

I think somewhere in the future many Getting-to-Know-You exercises will be outlawed, except in prisons for punishment, after scientists who study such things discover they lead to increased aggression and social ineptitude in those forced to participate.

There are some GTKY games where I leave the area or gathering feeling furthered in my journey through life. However, usually I experience forced and resentful social interaction because someone was holding brownies or other delicious refreshments hostage until I did so.

One of my least favourite of all such games is Two Truths and a Lie. You gather in a circle of strangers and tell everyone two truths about yourself coupled with one lie. Your new found fellow hostages (also only holding out for the promise of caloric joy) then need to guess which of these facts is a fabrication. The trouble with this game is no one really cares. Let me show you a simple example, pulled straight from the journals and documentations of College Life Anthropologists.

RA/Brownie Hostage Holder: Okaaaay! Stacie, it's YOUR turn! Tell us two truths, and one lie!

Stacie (victim of forced GTKY games): Okay, um. I have three siblings, I just graduated high school, and I love dogs.

RA/BHH: Great!! Who can guess the lie??

Other victim: *after prolonged silence* uh, oh, um. You don't love dogs?

Stacie: No. I have four siblings.

Other victims collectively: Ohhhhh.

Stacie: Yeah.


Why is this still a thing? I don't understand.

That being said, because I'm all abounding in logic, I am going to now play Two Truths and a Lie with ALL OF YOU! Yay!!! To find the lies, highlight the space next to "Answer:" with your cursor.

Round 1.

a) Peter is a male
b) I am a female
c) We attend a weekly support group for inter-height (specifically taller women) couples.

Answer: c) We instead bear our burden and shame alone

Round 2.

a) Peter has lived in Japan
b) I have lived in Russia
c) Peter is from outer space.

Answer: c) Peter is in fact from an INNER space. Specifically, his mother's uterus

Round 3.

a) My favourite animal is the dog, because the dog is the greatest of all the animals
b) Peter and I were married on the 3rd anniversary of our first kiss
c) I have a hair that grows on the left side of my nose named Earl and I murder (pluck) him about once a month.

Answer: c) The name of my nose hair is Carl. Earl lives in the middle of my wrist-mole and isn't plucked as frequently.

Bonus Round.

a) I love pizza
b) I love cheesecake
c) I regularly feast on the unborn.

Answer: c) I actually only eat eggs sometimes, not regularly. 

Did you win?? Tell me your scores in a comment and go eat brownies because you now have completed this GTKY orientation. Way to go, you beautiful space platypus. 


  1. I actually doubted myself on round three even though I knew the first two options to be true because naming your nose hair Earl is something that you would do.
    Also, I purely won the game because I noticed all the lies were option #3! I'm the weinner!