Thursday, November 27, 2014

I am cool because I am thankful.

I wish that I could be like the cool kids, cuz all the cool kids, they seem to fit in... Jk. I'm cool already. However, I am going to do the cool I AM SO THANKFUL thing, because I am not afraid to be with the mainstream, that's how hipster I am.

Obviously, there are the classic things that all of us are thankful for. I'm very much grateful for my wonderful husband, for my family, and friends, but that seems like a waste of your time because, DUH (amirite?). Thus, I would like to use this post to write about the things that I really am truly wonderfully grateful for, but don't mention or stop to think about often enough.

1. People in jobs that I am not in.

The great thing about children in preschool is they have these dreams for their future occupations without any sort of social concerns. Little boys and girls have told me they want to be garbage truck drivers, or work at McDonalds so they can have burgers all day, and I love it. Not because I think these are glorious jobs, or heinous ones, but because I am grateful that people are willing to come collect my garbage cans each week, and that I am able to go get my tacos and burgers at any time. I am very thankful for our diverse interests and work areas because I am able to benefit from people's hard work and services. Thank you! I hope someday I can serve you in return! Please keep doing what you're doing. You bring my life joy. Srsly. Big hearts to you, Glen Coco.

2. People who are willing to let me pet their dogs.

Dogs are the greatest things on this entire planet. I'm not going to even try to convince you of this truth, because this is not the time, but I hope someday you realize how wonderful they are. These fuzzy little fur-balls of love and loyalty bring me so much joy, but unfortunately, at this time in my life, I cannot have one of my own. I have a personal rule, which is driven by a compulsion, that if I am passing someone with a dog, I will ask the owner if I can pet the beautiful wonderful creature they are walking. Most everyone says yes, and those people are glorious. There should be a national holiday for "Dog Owners Who Share Their Dogs" or something, because these men and women are warriors saving the days of people everyday. Bless you and your majestic canines. The animals, that is. Not your teeth... Although, those are probably pristine as well.

3. Funny things and funny people.

I love to laugh. I just love it so much. Sometimes, when people make me laugh, I feel so grateful for them making me laugh, I want to cry, which leads to a seriously confusing emotional state for my body to try to comprehend. Laughter is beautiful. Go find something that makes you laugh today, and then try the weird laughing, weepy thing. It's a mess, but still kind of fun.

4. Indoor plumbing.

Can we just slow clap it out for our wonderful pioneers of plumbing? When was the last time you were in a warm, running shower, and you thought to yourself, "gee, I just wish I could be using water I pumped (or gathered) myself to awkwardly wash my body. This is just too easy. Too hot." Or when you're on the toilet, consider, "man, this is terrible. I should be digging a hole in my yard right now. Who wants to poop inside like some kind of MONSTER?!" Well, if that is what you think, then, good for you and your efforts to conserve water and fertilize the earth, but for me, I just think indoor plumbing is neat. I probably would have chosen it over marriage before I met Peter. Come be my backup groom, shower pipes.

5. My snuggie(s).

Okay, this actually includes a deeper story. Or several. I adore my snuggies. I have two. I had previously mocked the snuggie, based alone on the infomercial which was made to sell it (#6, I am thankful for infomercials) and had never had a desire to own one, then one Christmas I received TWO and they changed my life. Seriously wonderful inventions. Big, fuzzy and with SLEEVES! Granted, the whole infomercial background which accompanies the snuggie, actually makes it an even better product...
 My red snuggie (the bigger of the two) has recently been titled the Feminism Snuggie, because it has brought equality to my marriage. Since we got married, Peter has always lost the blanket-war that rages while we're sleeping. I am a tuck-and-roller when it comes to dream time. I like to be enclosed in a warm cocoon of blanket safety, and do all it takes once I am asleep to assure I get said cocoon. From the start of our marriage I have worked hard to try and give Peter an equal share of the blankets. I will make the bed with only a tiny bit of the quilt over my end while he has almost a foot on his side. I will wake up in the middle of the night and try to return that which I have stolen from his poor body, but ultimately, I continue to rob him of warmth and comfort. Finally, however, I began bringing my snuggie to bed, and in doing so HAVE SAVED OUR MARRIAGE. Peter is covered and safe from monsters every night. Equality has been restored. And thus my gratitude for our feminism snuggie.  

There are dozen more things that I am grateful for, but for now my list ends. Honestly, because I am thankful for sleep, and right now it's calling for me.

Happy Thanksgiving, you beautiful people.

I am grateful for Skype and that my parents try to get Sasha to talk to me, even though she doesn't seem to notice I'm on the screen.

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