Wednesday, May 21, 2014

A compilation of true name situations that still make me cringe.

I have been blessed and/or cursed to have a unique name. Melece ranks absolutely nowhere on the Social Security Name Database, and is pretty much unheard of. My nickname "Melly" is usually just as unknown, and often takes a couple of attempts, and spellings to get people to understand exactly what I'm telling them they can call me. Here I have taken the time to write up 20 true life uncomfortable name related situations which have happened to me.


1. Introducing myself to a new person, who still hears/says my name wrong after five attempts.

2. Accepting that this is my new name, but only to this one person, so it's totally an acceptable thing no one will know about.

3. Being introduced to five other people by this first person all by said new name.

4. Adjusting to life as "Melody" "Molly" "Emily" "Elise" etc., and responding appropriately when called as such.

5. Having someone who I know appear in this group of new-name friends.

6. Hoping silently that no one will address me for the rest of whatever time is going to be spent in this group.

7. Cringing as someone new uses the name they know me by.

8. Begging silently with my eyes to the person who I actually know to take this new name with no comment and roll with it.

9. Dying on the inside as the so called "friend" throws me under the name bus, asking the others why they are calling me by that name, because my name is Melece.

10. Continuing to die as everyone demands to know why I didn't correct them when they were using the wrong name.

11. Attempting to laugh off the situation in a "hah! Gotcha!" kind of way, while everyone in this new/old friend circle is staring me and questioning whether I have always been this socially inept.

12. Finding that the original forced laugh I just faked cannot be stopped, and is rapidly becoming shrill and horrifying, with just a hint of villainous.

13. Searching for some quick exit from the situation, which is now people who used to feel comfortable interacting with me trying to begin a new conversation among themselves while shooting furtive glances as I continue to laugh like an axe murderer.

14. State, "well, this is awkward," making the situation 20 times more awkward than it just had been.

15. Pretending to receive a call on my phone, and answer it.

16. Whispering to the group, "yeah, I gotta take this," while gesturing to the phone, which is, in fact, upside down on my face.

17. Turning to walk away rapidly while praying no one is watching me.

18. Realizing I need to continue to fake this phone conversation, but have no idea what to say.

19. Awkwardly stating, "kay, bye" even though no conversation has taken place.

20. Returning home ashamed of another uncomfortable human- interaction.


  1. Oh my gosh. My name isn't that weird, but people call me more like L-or-a rather than L-are-a, and I don't really care so I let it happen but then that friend shows up and is all "It's L-ARE-A!!!" and I'm just like "I don't want to be here..."

  2. I am SO glad you understand the pain!