Thursday, May 8, 2014

Lovers 1 & 2

This five letter word is my life.
We first fell into our love affair when I was 16. While I had always been pretty indifferent about this nightly ritual, suddenly, something happened inside me which made me understand how fantastically beautiful sleep is. Since then I have never turned my back on it.

Another beloved five letter word of my life.
We first fell into our love affair when I was 19. This spunky little man with a golden Jew-boy afro who was constantly rapping and/or dancing was always indifferent towards me, but I thought he was adorable. Four years after meeting each other, we are now married.

Two lovers of mine. Close to my heart. Close to my soul. Who knew that one would murder the other so brutally?

Okay, I'm totally lying, sleep isn't dead, it's just been stolen from me.
I always considered that sharing my bed with someone else - my main hook-up spot with sleep - had the potential to scare the latter away, but people told me I was crazy.

Okay, so it's still partly me.

Let me back up.

While Peter and I were dating, he had already known me for two and a half years, and so he knew that I would climb mountains, or more realistically, refuse to climb anything besides my bed in order to sleep. Most Friday nights I was in bed by 10pm and every weeknight by 9:30 or earlier. Peter, on the other hand, never got to bed at a decent hour, no matter how much I urged him to.
Flash forward to our honeymoon and Peter is asleep EVERY NIGHT BY 8PM. In a cruel twist of irony, the lovers who I had been two-timing for 8 months had now fallen into each others arms, leaving me alone. However, the time I have been spending awake in our bed each night has enlightened me to fun observations about my little husband while he embraces my lover sleep.

1. While everyone twitches as their body falls asleep, my husband thrashes violently. If I am holding his hand, he will karate chop it away, while other times he will rapidly kick the bed with full force. Once or twice, I have been close to sleep when a dosing Peter will gasp in air as if he has been drowning and I spend the next fifteen minutes trying to ask him if he is okay, but of course

2. When Peter is sleeping, he will not be awoken. There have been many times when, as a bored wife, I poke, prod, tickle, and call to my bedmate, but to no avail. That being said,

3. A sleeping Peter is a delicate Peter. Any bump or graze is at risk to whimpers and "owwwwwwwww"s while he clings to whatever body part I have offended and curls away from me like an injured puppy. YET STILL NOT WAKING UP TO PLAY WITH ME.

This sleep thing is a struggle, but is slowly improving; I haven't spent a night on the couch or the floor in over a week! HOW EXCITING IS MY LIFE?

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